What I do

It's been a while since I've posted, partly because I have been busy but also partly because I don't feel I have anything particularly interesting or inspiring to write about just at the moment. Blogs should be about sharing, educating, informing and spreading ideas, not personal stories. However, I have been doing some cool stuff so if anyone is interested, this is what I've been up to.

I'm now in week 4 of uni, and all of my papers are equally interesting and rewarding. My favourite has to be Gender and Race in the media, partly because we have spent 2-3 weeks talking about feminism (I suspect my lecturer shares my interest, as she pulls out original copies of The Second Sex, The Female Eunuch and other classic texts). Coincidentally, at the moment I am (slowly) reading Naomi Wolf's 1990 classic The Beauty Myth. I have always been concerned about this obsession with women's appearances, and convinced that many people I know have unhealthy and damaging ideas and practices including exercise, eating, makeup, body dysmorphia and low self-esteem. It is certainly very interesting reading this text from 20 years ago and seeing how things have or haven't changed. I am also increasingly aware of the discrimination still practiced against women, often in subtle and normalised ways.
One thing that slightly irritates me at the moment is the importance placed on marital status, often in official contexts. I find that often forms give only two options in the 'marital status' field - married or single. What about same-sex couples, de facto couples who don't see the need to get married, or people who are single by choice? And why does it matter? I am becoming increasingly against the idea of ever getting married myself, although admittedly it would be fun to have a wedding-type celebration. The last form I filled out, on a CV, had a blank box for marital status so I wrote 'Irrelevant'.

I am also doing an internship with an awesome company I have admired and followed since early 2010. I am learning so much, doing work in many different areas and hopefully developing relevant skills. The office culture is perfect for me, with high standards and a desire for excellence, an emphasis on goals and proactivity, and best of all an awareness of the importance of fun, being different, humour and social life. I feel honoured to be part of such a great team and company and I'm determined to show my ability and do as much as I can for them. A job opportunity is of course the ultimate goal, but for now I'm stoked to have my own business card.
Check me out: http://www.blacksheepdesign.co.nz/we.html . Yay!

Twiggley is for sale, but I'm getting frustrated with the lack of interest. Shes nice to have around but I cant stop thinking about what I can do once shes sold - save money, sell my truck (although I would love to keep it), go away for more weekends and take up a new hobby. I feel bad that she's not getting ridden more than a few times a week, and I just want her to go to someone who does have the time and enthusiasm.

And finally, it seems I have jumped the fence into the loved-up, pro-relationship camp (gasp!). I'm happier than I've ever been. Apparantely we are 'so cute'.

Being home

Being at home in New Plymouth was the strangest feeling, especially since I only had a few days before going back to my uni town. I felt at a loss for what to do with myself, having gotten used to the constant excitement of new places and things to see and do. It was overcast and muggy at home with quite a bit of rain which was disappointing, but everything was green and overgrown which was nice to see.
One day I took my horse, a friend and her horse out to Oakura beach. We had the beach to ourselves since the holiday period had officially finished, and it was a beautiful day. We galloped along the sand and let the horses race each other, hooves and hearts pounding. It's always been one of my favourite feelings.

What's even more fun than that is taking the horses swimming. Passersby look surprised as we strip down to bikinis and take their saddles off, and go splashing forth into the rivermouth. The horses paw their front feet and the water goes everywhere, and their stride becomes slower once the water is above their knees. Once the water gets deeper the horses push off the bottom with their back legs, and suddenly their back sinks under you and their front legs start paddling too. They are often completely submerged with only their head above water, so you hold on around their neck as best you can. Your legs slide back and you feel the powerful strokes of their hind legs treading water, and their front end glides gracefully across the river. As they paddle their back moves up and down slightly, and you get wet up to your chest before they strike the bottom again and suddenly rise out of the water in an unseating, upwards motion not unlike a rear. My friend Jorja's horse likes to drag her bottom lip in the water, then submerge her nose and blow bubbles.

On an earlier trip in December last year we took my dog too, and it was the coolest thing ever swimming along on Twiggley while Monty paddled beside us. he's a fantastic swimmer, and so is Twiggley. Here's a photo I love from that day:

I have really missed swimming, and this river is perfect for it. It's warm, deep and in a sheltered spot with a high bank to jump off. You have to jump out slightly to clear it, and flax fronds brush past as I plunge down and sink into the water. I like to float on my back, look at the bright blue sky and feel the water sliding past underneath me. No sense of time, no worries; just the river and the sun and you. I feel at home once again.

Day 25-27: Long flight home

Today I left at 1pm after squeezing everything into my bag and the new suitcase I bought. Turns out it is pretty difficult to wheel two 20kg+ suitcases down hallways, down a lift and through two sets of doors before I could hail a cab. The drive took us through the Bronx and over a couple of bridges, to parts of the city I had only seen from a distance. My favourite part was East Harlem, where all the shop signs were in Spanish.
JFK is a massive airport with a complex system of roads and exits going to 8 different terminals, but everything went smoothly.I didn't realise that American Airlines had cut costs so much - on a 6 hour flight to LA there was no in-flight entertainment, you had to buy food if you wanted any and none of it was appealing or cheap, and they came by once to offer us juice or water. Longest flight ever.
As usual LAX was unhelpful, confusing and very drab and rundown. Ugh. Luckily I didn't have to change terminals, but I did have to sit in the gate lounge for 3 hours with no free wifi. I bought an American Cosmopolitan for entertainment value, and a Vanity Fair which was awesome. They cost less than $5 each.

Flying into Auckland over the Bay of Islands was stunning. So good to see those green hills and deep blue waters, and some Kiwi sunshine. The American guy next to me was slightly awestruck and said he "didn't realise it was so green or so pretty". I proudly pointed out the Sky Tower and the relatively tiny collection of buildings that is Auckland, and he chuckled when I told him it's our largest city. Rather different to flying in over the sprawling metropolis of LA. He was off on a backpacking trip to Christchurch, which was nice to hear.

Another thing I really appreciate now is our airports. Auckland Airport is so nice, modern, welcoming and light especially compared with LAX or JFK. There are helpful Air New Zealand staff everywhere, clear signage and artwork on the walls. I have to say that our national airline and our airports are far better than anything I saw in America. Not bad, New Zealand.

Arriving in New Plymouth was surreal, and I felt like there was a distinct lack of people, traffic or buildings. It all seemed so empty, green and spacious. It's good to be home.

Day 23-24: Wandering in New York

The next couple of days I really didn't do anything. I slept in, read magazines, sat in the sun and got ready to leave. I did go back to Soho to have another look around, but by this point I was broke and really wasnt in the mood for shopping anyway. I went to Wendy's for a cheeseburger and shake, to experience the true American takeaway experience. It was disgusting and greasy, overprocessed, overpriced and completely different to McDonald's at home. But while I was sitting there two tall, beautiful young men with French accents sat at the table next to me, and from their conversation I gathered they were models on their way to a DKNY casting, among others including Calvin Klein and Versace. New York Fashion Week is in a couple of weeks so there are even more models in town than usual, because all the designers are casting for their runway shows.

I went into Topshop for a look around and tried a couple of things on. The store was massive and very impressive, but to be honest I wasn't that impressed by the clothing, and it was very expensive for how basic some of it was. They did have amazing shoes though.

I really liked the stuff in Banana Republic which is kind of similar stuff to Max at home. Other highlights were Lacoste, Guess, Armani Exchange and this amazing window/wall display at Converse:

Aldo Shoes: there are so many amazing shoe designers here!

I also went to Victoria's Secret which was amazing, the store is so cool. The inside of it is designed like a jewellery box, with pink satin and drawers everywhere and photos of the Angels. They had some really nice stuff too, and their beauty section was amazing. I didn't realise they made so many perfumes, and they are all so nice. I think in future if I need clothes I will just order them online from the States, as I have realised how expensive it is at home and how little range there is.

I spent some more time sitting on park benches, people watching and reflecting on my time here. It's been an amazing trip, but I'm definitely ready to go home.

Day 22: Sex and squirrels

Today I finally went to the Museum of Sex, which I had been reading a lot about and looking forward to visiting. To get there I had to walk several blocks, and noticed the streets sometimes get grimier the further away you get from the main drag (Broadway and 5th Ave in this case). I was a minority in race and gender, and there were head shops everywhere with huge hookah pipes and bongs in the windows - in various colours, sizes, shapes and 'special editions'. They were even on signs outside the shops. I'm not sure you would get away with that in a city at home, but I did think the drug laws were very stringent here.

In the museum the tall black security guards outnumbered the guests. The first room was called 'Sex and the Moving Image' and documented erotic film and pornography from the 1900s through to the 1990s and 21st Century. They had examples, stills and information on each era and style in America, some of which I didn't previously know about. Some of the footage was played on big platform type things on the floor, I'm not sure why but it was very tasteful and informative. They had managed to get hold of copies of Colin Farrell and Paris Hilton's sex tapes and had a panel on the celebrity sex tape phenomena and the wonders it could do for publicity, good or bad. There were also sections on same-sex films, food and sex and masturbation in mainstream film. I thought it was cool that it wasn't just about porn, but a commentary on sex in cinema and its impact on the industry and society.

Upstairs was the permanent collection, including art, toys, models and displays. They ranged from interesting to hilarious, to creepy and shocking (depending on your previous exposure, I suppose). some of the art was awesome, I especially liked the original pin-ups and 'French Postcards' and thought they were much more erotic than the explicit images common today.
And yes, those are silicon sex dolls. I touched them and they had an odd sticky texture, definitely not like skin at all and definitely very creepy. I was surprised there was no accompanying commentary about the demand for human replicas, and how the desire for closeness is often really what its all about.

I was very happy to see this great piece of public discourse! There were several of these boards accompanying sets of objects, discussing the facts around different topics without sounding biased or dismissive of any sexual practices.

The top floor contained 'The sex lives of animals' which didn't sound that interesting but it was really well done. It explored things like genitalia, mating practices, family structures, gender, masturbation and orgasm in many different species ranging from insects to whales. Cleverly, they used these examples to show that there really is no 'normal' pattern of sexual behaviour, genitalia size and shape varies hugely, gender is not always a fixed state and sex is a very natural and enjoyable part of life for all creatures. Fantastic to see, and I only wish more of this information was part of mainstream education and general knowledge. I learnt a lot, and it all made perfect sense.

There were also some great sculptures commissioned by a local artist:

This one was titled 'Deer threesome' and included a panel describing the homosexual tendencies of some deer, and why they are thought to do this.

I could go on, and I wished there were more exhibits. But I left feeling refreshed, having learned lots and reassured that there are people educating, informing and trying to dispel the sex myths and taboos which continue to manipulate our society. 

I could have also spent a long time and a lot of money in the gift shop, which had a great selection of books, novelties and museum souvenirs such as a tall glass with 'sex makes me thirsty' printed on it. I browsed for a while and then left, and bought a lamb gyro from the kebab stand across the road. For under 5 dollars, it was delicious and very fresh.

It was a really nice afternoon, so i went and sat in Madison Sqaure Park for a while along with dozens of locals out enjoying the sun, walking their many dogs, eating lunch or watching a saxophone busker. The sounded drifted across the park and it was oddly peaceful and calm, at the intersection of two of the main streets in the central metropolis of Manhattan. 

A woman came past with a vintage camera and asked to take my picture, and the lady opposite me held her dog on her lap and stoked it while she read from her Kindle. All the dogs here are exceptionally well behaved and stay close to their owners. For some reason in this particular park there are lots of squirrels, and people must sometimes feed them because they aren't shy. I stood by the temporary fence closing off the lawn for winter and watched them scurry up and down trees, dig for nuts and do a little dance when they found one. When people near me started throwing nuts for them they got very bold, and would climb up onto the fence and sniff my hand, even putting a paw onto my arm to pull themselves up. Then suddenly they were off again, tails bouncing and twitching. Charming. 

After that it was time to go home and chill out. I have enjoyed my time here so much, but all those busy days really took it out of me. My legs and feet ache, I'm tired and slightly over it. I feel slightly dazed and don't really know what to do with myself. Still, I'm determined to do at least one thing for the next few days until I leave.

Day 21: Ivy League

This morning I was up and on a bus by 8.30am, and it was a beautiful fine day outside. Aside from the subway, the buses run regularly and are also an easy way to get around. I got off at Columbia University to go and have a look around. Founded in 1754, Columbia is one of the eight prestigious Ivy League schools, and its recent alumni include Barack Obama. It takes up about 6 blocks on the Upper West Side and is the largest owner of private real estate in the city. I walked onto the main concourse which is massive, old and stunning. Green grass and huge oak trees, buildings hundreds of years ago and constant reminders of the great Greek and Roman scholars:

Obviously this school has a very wealthy alumni, and receives gifts of hundreds of millions of dollars and priceless artifacts from some very important people. The old Library, which is now offices and an auditorium, was a huge marble hall with sunlight coming in a skylight and the walls lined with glass cases of ancient Greek vases, sculptures and busts. There really is a sense of prestige, history, wealth and also learning, knowing that only the best and brightest in their fields have studied and learned at this institution for hundreds of years. I picked up some brochures, wandered around some more and left feeling inspired. I bought a Columbia coat of arms sticker and a small pennant to remind me to really apply myself this year and get the best grades I can so that one day I can be an Ivy League student.

Then I got the subway downtown to visit another top school, New York University (NYU). They don't really have a campus as such, but most of the buildings are around Washington Square and the surrounding blocks. I stopped in the Square for a bit where there were lots of people sitting out in the sun, eating, talking and busking. I videoed and gave money to one incredible guy who was playing 5 different instruments at a time and sounded amazing, it's a pretty big area but his big voice rang out over the square and people gathered round and started to clap along. Brilliant.

I made an appointment with a graduate admissions counselor to talk about their admissions criteria and the system here, which is quite different to home. Their Integrated Marketing program requires work experience, career and academic references, and a 3.0-3.2 (around B+) GPA, and costs between $50-65,000 USD (about $70,000+ NZD) for the two year masters degree. Once you get in you can defer for 12 months which is helpful, however it sounded like financial assistance for non-residents was limited. Also they don't help you with accommodation at all, and apartments in Manhattan are prohibitively expensive and rare so you would have to commute in from Brooklyn or Queens.  Their classes are all run in the evenings so people can work and study, something I hadn't really thought about but would actually be pretty beneficial. As much as I can't see myself living in New York for an extended period of time, it's arguably the best place in the world for marketing and for networking. Food for thought.

I looked around some of the NYU buildings. Some were nice but the very inner-city feel was slightly disconcerting. There were lots of students and interesting things around though:

There is a massive shop called Designer Shoe Warehouse just near the square, so I had to go in there. It is absolutely massive, wall to wall with shelves of designer shoes at discounted prices. I headed to the clearance section and ended up getting a pair of outrageous Steve Madden platform heels. Steve Madden designs and makes amazing shoes, all beautiful and many ridiculously impractical so perfect for my taste.

Then I went down to Nolita (North of Little Italy) which is a small district of narrow cobbled streets, cute coffee shops, exclusive boutiques and very thin women who look like supermodels walking around in haute couture speaking French. 

I had a look in a few shops - they were small and very specialised,  and some were designer stores like Alexander Wang. The consignment stores here are where models sell the clothing and shoes they get given off the runway, so I went into Ina for a look. Funnily enough, they had dozens of dresses in size 0-2 and a grand total of 5 in my size, and 2 in the size above that. The shoes were divine - Manolo Blahnik and Christian Loubutini, any fashion-savvy girl's dream footwear, were on offer for $250-400 which is about 20% of their retail value. Sadly, I did not have any money or occasion to wear a pair of Manolos. I think the salespeople knew I wasn't their usual clientele, because they ignored me and continued their conversation about how best to wash $700 True Religion jeans.

However the shop next door, Variazioni, had a slightly more friendly price range, more fun clothes and a sale rack. They carried mostly Italian designers in the low to moderate price range, and I managed to find a very tight and sparkly party dress within my budget. The tall African American sales lady was funny, helpful, sassy and not afraid to tell me my 'ta-tas' looked great. Her fabulously gay male colleague exclaimed the dress was 'poppin' as they danced around to the new Rihanna album and found me stuff to try on. Sadly the budget only allowed for one dress, which they gave me a further discount off.

By this point I was feeling slightly overwhelmed again and had a few shopping bags so I just went back to the apartment, sat in the sun and read the New Yorker. It's a very good publication, with some excellent pieces which I thought were slightly more controversial than what you might find in North and South at home. I read a report on the gay teenager who committed suicide after his college roommate secretly filmed him with another man and invited others to watch it. I had heard of the case in the mainstream news media but didn't fully understand any of the details, but the article provided a great insight into the US justice system. They recovered all of the accused's emails, instant messages, texts, tweets and Internet activity leading up to, during and after the breach of privacy and he could face up to 10 years in jail. It sounded like a very complex case, but justice is certainly being done. 

Although I am firmly heterosexual, I think everyone should be safe from harassment or discrimination no matter what their sexual orientation is. I don't actually have any gay close friends but given the opportunity I would love to make some. I can't stand homophobia or ridicule of anyone, but sadly I find there is a lot of it in New Zealand, mostly fueled by fear of the unknown and lack of understanding. I think it's fantastic New York passed the gay marriage laws, and would love to see more of that everywhere. 

Day 20: Waterfalls

This morning I went back to Century 21, and ended up spending 2 hours there and buying about 8 items. I've ticked pretty much everything off my shopping list now, which is just as well seeing as my money is running out. I got some Calvin Klein and Marc Jacobs tops, a Guess wallet and a BCBG skirt among other things. I wanted to get a blazer for work but I can't bring myself to buy a plain, boring black or grey one which they all seem to be. I do dressy, but I don't do monochrome old lady.

You could spend an awful lot of money here on things that would be unwearable at home. People here dress to walk the streets because they all walk; everyone is wearing coats, boots and huge designer handbags. I've noticed all the men here are very well dressed - their hair is styled, they wear shirts and coats and well-fitting, designer, trendy outfits. Very nice to see, and sad to think this style would probably be laughed at in some circles back home. It's also not uncommon to see someone wearing something totally outrageous, and yet they don't look out of place. Reading a style profile in the New Yorker, a 27 year old lawyer claimed her favourite pieces were anything fluro yellow and patent leather, and that she 'never feels ridiculous wearing anything in New York'. I've bought a lot of things that I probably won't wear that much because Palmerston North is depressingly un-chic and people (especially students) will look sideways at people dressed up during the day. And you certainly don't see many people wearing Armani coats or Manolo Blahnik shoes. I have bought a few things that wouldn't be out of place here but will look pretty ridiculous at home, and plan to wear them as much as I can.

After that I went down to the 9/11 memorial site. Because it's winter there are none of the long lines that all the tourist sites seem set up for. As with the Rockefeller Center, you have to go through airport-like security screening and have your bags screened. There are lots of uniformed security guards and police everywhere, and staff directing people and checking tickets. It's free entry but still quite a process to actually get in.

The memorial plaza is massive, and will be an open public space once the construction is finished. There are hundreds of trees, lawn areas and benches. In the footprints of the Twin Towers are two huge square holes in the ground, with waterfalls pouring down the sides. All around the edges are railings with the 3,000 names of all the victims engraved in them. Simple yet very powerful, the pools are about an acre in size and cannot be captured in photos, but here is my attempt:

This is the museum, which is nearly finished and sits next to the South Pool. One of the new buildings in the background:

I spent a while walking around the two pools and reading some of the names. They are grouped together in emergency departments, flight crews and company staff, and there is a database where you can find certain people. 

I thought it was very well done, poignant and simple and a strong tribute to all those who died. It's difficult to imagine these massive pools being replaced with 100 storey buildings, and even more so to picture this peaceful area in chaos. The surrounding streets of Manhattan are so busy, how did everyone get out? How did they know where to go? I can understand the dazed confusion people talk about feeling and seeing that day.

After you exit is the visitor center which is very similar to the preview museum I went to yesterday. There were dozens of people in the room, yet everyone was silent. A film played, people telling their individual stories. Survivors, officials and family members all sharing these very personal memories and tragedies. There is a room where you can record your own message, and contributions to the museum are made from many different people and organisations. I think a facility like this will definitely ensure no one ever forgets, and people from all over the world can come to pay their respects and be thankful they weren't in New York that day. The population of the city is 8 million, but apparently during summer that number swells to 12 million because of the never-ending stream of tourists and visitors. I realised that some of the people who died at the World Trade Center would have been tourists like me.

After some more reflection and making a donation to the memorial fund for development and maintenance of the complex, I caught the subway up to Canal Street which is home to lively street markets not unlike those in Asia. In the first stall I went to I saw a suitcase that looked suitable, and the haggling process began. While those street markets are a great place to get cheap tourist stuff, I quickly got sick of the insistent vendors. Wheeling the bag behind me, I wandered around and struggled to find the subway. My map showed an orderly grid; the actual intersection of 5 streets was busy, chaotic and confusing. Eventually I got back to the hotel, had time for a 10-minute sit-down then went to the Museum of Modern Art. I was quite excited to visit this, as it has an extensive collection and many famous works. It's one of dozens of big galleries and museums in NY; people do special trips just to visit the galleries here. Other notable institutions are the Frick, the Guggenheim and the Metroplolitan, which I may go to later this week.

The building was an impressive piece of architecture and an art form itself, with 4 levels and a sculpture garden. We started at the top two levels which housed the modern art from 1870-present. Surprisingly, there were no barriers around the paintings and you were allowed to take photos although there were several security guards in each room. They had a big collection of Picasso from throughout his career, Rosseau, Mondrian, Monet and a couple by Van Gogh. They were arranged in chronological order which was great to see, especially having studied art in high school. Rather surreal seeing the priceless originals of all these paintings I have seen in textbooks, and even more so standing close enough to see the individual brush strokes and layers of oil paint.

There was a whole room dedicated to three of Claude Monet's paintings taking up whole walls, I didn't realise they were quite that large. Or quite that beautiful.

My favourite was the Pop Art section, featuring this painting which was 86 feet long and wrapped around the 4 walls of it's own little room. It was a response to taxpayer dollars funding the development of the F-11 for the Vietnam war.

They also had two paintings by Andy Warhol, again surreal seeing them in real life and close up.

On the lower floor was an exhibition called 'Sweet Violence' by a Croatian artist, Sanja Ivekovic. It contained video and still photographs describing the stories of Croatian women, their oppression and the violence and rape they experienced. Slightly unnerving, and good to see in the public sphere. The final piece was a giant statue of Nike, surrounded by newspaper clippings and scrunched up pieces of red paper. 

There were also some modern sculptures, which were very strange. For example, one was a whole wall of striped canvas fabric the artist had gathered from beachside cafe awnings, with barely any modification. There were a lot of very artsy people wandering around but I wonder how many of them actually understood this:

I had an apple crumble-like snack in the cafe and then walked back to the hotel on weary legs. We went back to Times Square, slightly more bearable and photogenic when it wasn't pouring with rain. Dinner was a horrible greasy Italian fast-food place, where I ordered a vege pizza that looked nice but really wasn't. After that Dad and I went home, via a liquor store. The range of spirits here is huge, even at a tiny local store, and the prices are much cheaper than home. I decided on a cake flavored vodka, I wanted more but sadly can't afford any extra weight in my suitcases which are both full. We took a taxi to my aunt's place on the Upper West Side where I will be staying since my family leave tomorrow. Slight relief at the thought of doing my own thing and running on my own time, not a strict schedule.